I wanted to set up dates in Amsterdam before I got here so I hit up a few men on OKC. Imagine my surprise when I find out that this guy is a dating coach for a personal improvement company. I think this is really interesting and we talk over fb messages for a week. I’m excited to meet this guy.

Casanovice meets me at 9 at the hostel. The first place he takes me is an arcade called The Ton Ton Club. I beeline to the pinball machine, he says that’s the dumbest game and won’t shut up about it until I’ve played all of my balls. We play his game idk what it’s called but there are craters with numbers you punch to go in the baskets. He’s winning and being really childish about it. We leave to go to a hostel bar and take a seat on the patio. Drinks are two for one so we both have a couple. If I keep drinking I’m going to have to eat something so I tell him this.

What?! WHY DIDN’T YOU EAT SOMETHING BEFORE!?!?

Omg. Idk maybe because I was going on a date. He gets over it and tells me he knows just the place. He takes me to a FEBO. Yes, the fast food place where you insert coins for your meal. It’s closed and he’s out of ideas. We end up at a McDonald’s because “that’s our best option” he’s not hungry so I order my food and pay all of 4 euros, he then proceeds to eat my dinner. I’m not saying I needed all of it but Jesus Christ are you kidding me?

Alright C, where to next?

We can get a bottle of wine and play pictionary at my place.

That’s not even a two person game.

Yes it can be.

His place is a 15 minute bike ride from my place…

I don’t have a bike.

That’s ok you can sit on mine.

That’s pretty far from my hostel.

That’s ok, I’ll bring you back.

How about we get wine and sit by the canal?

But we can play pictionary at my place.

Orrrr we can have a beer at my hostel’s bar.

We pass my hostel.

Wait, where are we going?

Just a five minute walk.

Ummmm alright, that’s it. Goodbye.

His JOB is to help men learn how to date for £70 an hour! WTF was that? I tell a friend about this she thinks he goes by the philosophy of:

Treat her mean, keep her keen.

*I recieved an apology 2 days later